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When/how an abusive ex-partner want’s to control you via the court system

control court system

Power and control

One of the main problems is that the violence against women coming out of abusive relationships, doesn’t end as soon as that relationship is over. The power and abusive dynamics that existed during that relationship can linger on long after the relationship ended. Ofcourse this can apply to men as well but in this blog I will focus mainly on my own personal story. That need to control others is often not limited to the partner. Often children are emotionally, physically abused or manipulated to how the abuser sees fit.

But if that would be all, the only thing that the abused parent had to do is to go to court and to go to social services to ask for help, right?

I wish it would be so easy.

Getting control over the victim via the court system

I remember attending the WAVE conference in Berlin two years ago, where there were participants with all kinds of nationalities holding their hands up high when asked if they were familiar with abusive parents using the family courts to gain control over the children. Not for in this case the fathers to have the children but to leave the moms without the children. Or use them as a threat to control mom again. Almost all hands went up.

It happened to me too. I fled with my children away from my abusive ex-partner when they were one year old. He has abused me so severely that they were born 7 weeks prematurely. We didn’t hear from him for a long time until I temporarily received money from the government since I had no job at that point and although I begged them not to, they contacted the ex to force him to pay alimony for the children. Then he wanted value for his money. The court send an social services employee two times for a short period of time who shrugged when I begged her to not let him be alone with me. She did let me be alone with him and he threatened me when I picked up the kids. To make a long story short, the judge didn’t saw any problems for him having unsupervised visitation rights. Sadly I knew my ex better than the judge did.

He abused one of my sons so severely at one point during visitation that he is now permanently hearing impaired. He put both of my children under a cold shower, cut in the pink part of the nails of their fingers and toes (nail bed) and forced them to eat foods that they weren’t allowed to eat because of their premature birth.

Infringing the rules

I made the very hard decision to go against the court rulings because my children were not safe. Ofcourse I was very scared but if they won’t protect my children, I have too. I had to re-fringe the rules despite whatever consequence.

Consequences

In the Netherlands the court has the right to get you imprisoned if you don’t (fully) cooperate with visitation rights. My ex asked the court for that measure, wanted sole custody, tried to stop me from studying and wanted money for everytime I didn’t let the children visit their biological father.

The judge ruled I should pay my ex 500 euro for every time I wouldn’t let my children go to their biological father alone. That means that within a few months I owed him 15.000 euro.

Next to that I didn’t get permission to finish my studies which left me in study debt which meant I couldn’t make my dream to work for the UN come true.

Although my dream to work for the UN didn’t come true I did start the PAVE podcast where I talk and connect with UN speakers, and all those influencers who try to end the violence against women and children. Making my dream come true by following a different path.

But I know the system hasn’t changed. Especially since judges all over the world often still use practices from the ‘70’s and ‘80’s  a time where research on domestic violence were just in the beginning phase.

Future me too campaign

The time for change has come. I believe that the metoo campaign will ignite new phases where malpractices come too light. It will shine a light on those people who looked the other way and told the victim to be silent, it will shine a light on outdated practices used by professionals. I believe we have a lot to do. And there is a lot of training needed to be done.

CHANGE

The lives of abused people, whether men, women, or children are at stake and we can’t take their lives for granted. And that is a message for all policemen, the court. lawyers, social workers etc. Inform yourself with all information that is available like the ACE studies, the Safe Child Act, the Quincy solution. Read books like Donald Dutton’s ” the abusive personality” . Learn how to truly recognise abuse. And let us extend and make use out of the METOO campaign to create a new reality for survivors.

 

Abuse, Blog, Personal, Speaking, UN women

PAVE 016: Being the executive director of UN women NL, Combatting violence against women, defending women’s rights and working for the LGTBI community on the Western Balkans with Marije Cornelissen

Marije Cornelissen PAVE podcast

Marije Cornelissen is the executive director of UN Women the Netherlands. Previously she was a UN Women’s Representative of the Netherlands in 2016. Next to this she works as a freelance consultant for national and international institutions concerning human rights organizations and she gives courses and workshops on lobbying at Leiden University, Clingendael and the College of Europe.

Marije Cornelissen grew up in a leftwing and feminist family. At a young age she participated in the demonstrations against the presence of weapons of mass destruction in the Netherlands.

Since the 1990s Cornelissen has been active in the GreenLeft party. Between 1996 and 1997 she worked as an assistant to MEP Nel van Dijk on women’s rights. In addition she was active in the Feminist Network of the GreenLeft and she was active in the European Green Party, where she coordinated the dialogue between East and West European Greens.

In 2009 she was a candidate for the European Parliament for the GreenLeft. The party congress put her on number three of the list, which was deemed unelectable. As a candidate for the European Parliament Cornelissen campaigned on social affairs, emancipation and anti-discrimination. She advocated increased solidarity between the member states of the European Union.[1][2] Unexpectedly the GreenLeft won a third seat in the election and Cornelissen was elected.

After the election she became a member of the Committee on Women’s Rights and Gender Equality and Committee on Employment and Social Affairs.

She served as a member of the European Parliament between 14 July 2009 and 1 July 2014.

In today’s episode we discuss: how to use lobby as a instrument for human rights, how Marije became a UN representative, fighting injustice as a passion, what working as a MEP taught her, why it is riddiculus to bring the problem and the solution in women’s court and next to all of this: why she want’s a cricket little church and a statue of a cow painted in orange.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

3:00 How Marije became a very young activist at the age of 6

5:00 How Marije became a UN representetive

7:00 Founding UN women Netherlands

9:00 Emma watson, he for she goodwill ambassador 

10:00 The he for she artsweek in the Netherlands

11:50 Women’s rights year and the international day against violence to women

Why Marije want’s a cow or a cricket little church lightning in orange

13:00 Orange the world.nl

17:10 Balancing being a mom, being the executive director of UNwomen NL, a teacher, an freelance consultant and an activist. 

18:00 Working for the LGTBI community at the Western Balkans. 

20:00 Fighting in injustice as a passion.

21:00 The riddiculusness to bring the problem and solution of in women’s court. 

24:00 Touching experiences at work

25:00 How we can support UNwomen

28:00 The discovery that made Marije experience things differently

“If you are a director at a charity people are wonderful, instead of critiszing of everything. I never realised how negatively politicians are viewed. I am still the same but people tend to view politicians very differently then regular people.” 

33:00 How you can become involved with the UN

34:00 Quote from Marije Cornelissen

33:00 What Marije dislikes about the womens’rights movement

TWEETABLES and QUOTES:

MORE ABOUT MARIJE CORNELISSEN AND HER WORK:

Websites mentioned: 

www.unwomen.nl

www.heforshe.nl

www.orangetheworld.nl

www.safestreets.nl

Donations for UNwomen NL: https://unwomen.nl/jij-kunt-helpen/word-donateur/

Social Media: 

Twitter:

@unwomen_nl

@MarijeC

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/unwomennederland

MORE ABOUT PAVE:

Website: https://www.aliannelooijenga.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PAVE-professionals-against-violence-podcast-1253878638026611/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga/

SPONSORS

If you want to be a guest on the PAVE podcast, a volunteer working for PAVE, are you interested in becoming a PAVE sponsor, do you want to help us in an other way, email me to see how we can work together to end the violence against women and children.

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

 

Activism, PAVE Podcast, UN women, Women's rights

PAVE 011: Fighting your own battles first before you can save others and become a superwoman next door with Upasana Chauhan

Upasana Chauhan

Upasana Chauhan is the founder of Superwoman Next Door. She is an UN Representative  of Manup Campaign, spread across 23 countries to involve men in the battle of Gender Equality. Upasana send me an impressive list of 14 organisations/projects she is involved with including many from the UN, but it would be a too long (although impressive) list to share on this blogpage. If you want to read it for yourself, click here: http://www.womenshealthsection.com/content/documents/Upasana_Chauhan_Resume.pdf

Upasana’s dream and passion is to encourage and empower every girl next door to be courageous to DARE TO DREAM and be her own superwoman to get those dreams. She is on the drafting committee for the Newyork City for CEDAW bill.

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 011 with Upasana Chauhan please click here: PAVE podcast with Upasana Chauhan on Itunes

About your host: 

Alianne Looijenga is an international speaker motivating organizations to effectively help survivors of partner abuse, child abuse and sexual abuse. She is also the founder of aliannelooijenga.com and the Professionals against violence (PAVE) podcast.   Alianne is a survivor of sexual abuse (including rape); partner abuse; and is the mother of twins who were abused by their biological father after a judge granted him visitation rights when the children were three years old.

Alianne is dedicated to the empowerment of survivors of abuse and to support organisations working to end the violence against women and children.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

1:24 : Growing up in India

2:50 Paving your own path and paving the path for others 

3:15 NGO “I do dare”, ManUp campaign of the UN, Upasana’s career so far. 

7:00 Is there a change within the men of India, about how they view women? 

7:30 How men teach other men about women’s rights

8:00 Losing your identity as a woman when you marry in India

10:00 What Upasana discovered when she was looking for an arranged marriage

12:00 Passing values on to your children

14:50 What drives Upasana

21:00 When women are objects and have no rights

24:00 How do you re-energize when you fight so hard for other women’s rights?

32:00 Why people believe that they are entitled to judge another human being

33:00 Rediscovering your identity

35:00 Female suicides in India 

I can do anything for them, but I can’t go to their homes with them. Because that is a battle that each one has to fight for themselves.

I had to fight the battle myself inside my own home first. Then only I can fight it globally. You have to first fight it for yourself.

40:00 The importance of financial independence

Take that fear out of your body. Throw the fear out. Fear controls you. You get scared what happens if I do this, or what happens if I do that.

44:00 Upasana’s advice if you want to change other people’s lives

46:00 Why your work should not be about you

48:00 When you respond with kindness and love to people who put you down, you include them into your journey

51:00 How we can support Upasana by sharing stories about women who live next door to us.

“Alianne is equally Oprah Winfrey as Oprah Winfrey is Alianne.

You are your own superwoman in your own way doing your own amazing thing. So is Oprah. The only difference is that the whole world knows Oprah, and your neighbor knows Alianne. But is Alianne any less than Oprah? No. And that’s why I started SuperWoman Next Door.” – Upasana Chauhan 

59:00 Initial ending: yeah kidding, we talked further

1:03:00 Get out of that thing that holds you down

Be your own superwoman. Don’t wait for someone to save you. Nobody will come and save you. You will have to save yourself. There is no prince charming. And even if there is, he can come and join you while you save yourself. But you don’t have to sit and wait around. You have to take control.

1:08:00 Being grateful in difficult times, ending. 

TWEETABLES:

MORE ABOUT UPASANA AND SUPERWOMAN NEXT DOOR

https://twitter.com/upasanac?lang=en

https://www.facebook.com/superwomannextdoor/

Superwoman Next Door website

To submit stories to Upasana:

superwomannextdoor@gmail.com

MORE ABOUT PAVE

https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga

Www.aliannelooijenga.com

SPONSORS

If you want to be a guest on the PAVE podcast, a volunteer working for PAVE, if you are interested in becoming a PAVE sponsor, or want to help us in an other way, email me to see how we can work together to end the violence against women and children.

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 011 with Upasana Chauhan please click here: PAVE podcast with Upasana Chauhan on Itunes

 

Abuse, Activism, Gender Equality, PAVE Podcast, Podcast, UN women, Women's rights

PAVE 009: Peace, the Red Elephant Foundation, Gender Equality, and how to inspire people into action with Kirthi Jayakumar

Kirthi Jayakumar is an activist, artist and writer from Chennai, India. She founded and runs the Red Elephant Foundation, a civilian peacebuilding initiative that works for gender equality through storytelling, advocacy and digital interventions. She is a member of the Youth Working Group for Gender Equality. Kirthi is the recipient of the US Presidential Services Medal (2012) for her services as a volunteer to Delta Women NGO, and the two-time recipient of the UN Online Volunteer of the Year Award (2012, 2013).

Kirthi is also the recipient of the Global Peace Prize 2016, from WeSchool, and the Rising Star of India Award, 2016, from We The City India. Her second book, The Dove’s Lament, made it to the final shortlist for the Muse India Young Writers’ Literary Award. Kirthi was recently invited to the United State of Women Summit at the White House in Washington DC, as a nominated changemaker. She is also a Zen Doodler, and her works have been commissioned by corporate establishments, non-profits and art collectors world over.

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 009 with Kirthi Jayakumar please click here: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against-violence-podcast/id1203285774?mt=2#episodeGuid=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.professionalsagainstviolence.com%2F%3Fp%3D932

About your host: 

Alianne Looijenga is an international speaker motivating organizations to effectively help survivors of partner abuse, child abuse and sexual abuse. She is also the founder of aliannelooijenga.com and the Professionals against violence (PAVE) podcast.   Alianne is a survivor of sexual abuse (including rape); partner abuse; and is the mother of twins who were abused by their biological father after a judge granted him visitation rights when the children were three years old.

Alianne is dedicated to the empowerment of survivors of abuse and to support organisations working to end the violence against women and children.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

  • Kirthi suffered different kinds of abuse: sexual abuse, bullying, racism and ethnic violence. It made her empathy driven but it had a major impact. She chose silence over articulation of the things that happened to her with manifestations on her health as a result.
  • How Kirthi transformed because of the New Delhi rape and the wisdom of her mother:
  • You have two options: you can feel terrible about this, you can feel depressed, you can mourn about it, you can do whatever you want, fine. Or you can do this for some time and pick up your life. Whatever it is that you do, remember it is your choice and whatever you choose, I am with you.
  • Kirthi thought deeply for six months about all that happened, learned about alternative healing, read and thought a lot and after six months she gave her mom (on her birthday) the gift of Kirthi’s empowerment and founded the Red Elephant Foundation.
  • United state of Women (9:00 minutes)
  • The secret about how Kirthi can accomplish so much per day
  • Female infanticide (12:00 minutes)
  • Why Kirthi chose fiction to tell her stories to inspire people into action (13:00 minutes)
  • The writing proces of the writer of Dimashq (15.00 minutes)

– Syrian conflict

–  A different approach in thinking about war and conflict

Kirthi’s biggest dream (19:00 minutes)

Why peace is so important for Kirthi (21:00 minutes)

Alianne’s story regarding to health and trauma (35 minutes)

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 009 with Kirthi Jayakumar please click here: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against-violence-podcast/id1203285774?mt=2#episodeGuid=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.professionalsagainstviolence.com%2F%3Fp%3D932

MORE ABOUT KIRTHI AND THE RED ELEPHANT FOUNDATION

MORE ABOUT KIRTHI 

http://www.redelephantfoundation.org/

https://www.instagram.com/femcyclopaedia/

https://www.instagram.com/kirthipotamus/

The Doodle Kirthi created for me (I am still humbled to be featured next to these women): https://www.instagram.com/p/BSzC5e8A-R9/?taken-by=femcyclopaedia

Kirthi’s books, including the Dove’s lament and the doodler of Dimashq: https://www.amazon.com/Kirthi-Jayakumar/e/B076V6GJBY

MORE ABOUT PAVE

https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga

SPONSORS

If you want to be a guest on the PAVE podcast, a volunteer working for PAVE, if you are interested in becoming a PAVE sponsor, or want to help us in an other way, email me to see how we can work together to end the violence against women and children.

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 009 with Kirthi Jayakumar please click here: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against-violence-podcast/id1203285774?mt=2#episodeGuid=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.professionalsagainstviolence.com%2F%3Fp%3D932

Abuse, Activism, Feminism, Gender Equality, Health, Interview, Mindset, Patriarchy, PAVE Podcast, Personal, UN women

How I survived one of my most darkest moments in life (and it was not being raped)

(I wrote this blog a few years ago for lifesurfer.net)

A few nights ago I remembered one of the darkest and difficult moments I ever faced…

It is not the moment I was raped, nor the loneliness of feeling scared and vulnerable. Not the days I was almost killed. Not the moments that the prosecutor decided not to give punishment to my ex-partner, and not the moment when they didn’t prosecute my uncle of sexual abuse. Not the night I discovered that my ex-partner had the right to let me be put in jail for protecting my children and not giving them to him for visits for as long he didn’t seek hel

No, one of my darkest moments was the moment I was sitting in front of the judge.

At the time, I was thriving as a university student and my children and I hadn’t heard from my ex-partner in years. This I considered as a good thing because of the damage he had done and because the child protection services opinion was that it was best for him to stay away.
A part of my study program consisted of spending five months abroad. To travel with Dutch children you need the permission of either the biological father of the children or a judge.

I made use of a contact person to ask the permission of the biological father of the children to go abroad for five months. Of course, he declined. I suspected he would, although he never asked after the children to see how they were doing although he couldn’t see them.
I suspected that because of me asking, he would feel in charge, he would feel in control. After he declined, I went to court to ask the judge for permission, and in the same courtroom, he cried out that he missed the children, that it was all my fault he didn’t see them, I was a liar, etc.

Before entering the courtroom my lawyer turned to me, completely pale. Oh no, she cried… not this judge. And, when finding out who was to be the spokeswoman of the child protection services, I saw devastation in her eyes. I was calm and thought that with enough reason it would become completely clear that we needed to go to the USA to complete my study program and that a biological father who abused his children, never even once inquired after the children, and the social services who thought it was best for us that he would leave the children and me alone, would make her mind up pretty quickly.

What followed left me dumbfounded. My lawyer started shaking after the judge chewed me and her out and the judge did not let me speak, was downright nasty to me, and then threatened me that if my ex-partner didn’t see my children, they would have to live with him, even though his story wasn’t met with evidence and often he made comments that a judge who was listening would have heard that it was all about controlling ME and had nothing to do with love for the children. I did not know that a judge could and had permission to behave this way.

After a while, I started trembling. I left the courtroom devastated and went into depression for a few months. I felt betrayed and vulnerable and somewhat a victim after being a victim because the government had failed to protect me… again

That year I learned quite a lot. I learned to gain mastery over my feelings. I had seen the lowest point, and one of my biggest fears had come true. I only could go up from there. I decided that whatever happened, nobody could own my thoughts. I was the master of my feelings and I would never give someone the power over my feelings and let me feel miserable again. Yes, they could decide pretty nasty things for me, but how I would react to that, how it would made me feel, and the decisions I would make because of that… those were surely and alone my responsibility. I knew that moments would pass, and the decisions I would make in each and every moment would shape my destiny.

Months later, I returned to the courtroom. I walked in and recognized the judge of whom I was previously so fearful. I looked up to the heaven and said; “of course”, and winked towards the ceiling (I really did!). I knew it was my test to see how I would react to seeing her again. I felt powerful and I believe God gave me strength and this combined with my gained strengths.

The judge still wasn’t very fond of me. But it didn’t matter to me anymore. I smiled, answered her questions, and even gave her a tiny taste of her own medicine and confronted her with something she’d said.

I wasn’t driven by fear because I was driven by the knowledge that regardless of what happened, I would survive and I would make sure that my children and I were safe. I would see the big picture and realize that one moment did not define the millions of other moments I would still live. Never ever would I give the power to control my happiness and my future to anyone else again and certainly not some mystical creature who did not know who I was or what I stood for. I would no longer give power to the decisions of others; instead, I would focus on what I can control, which is…. myself.

 

Abuse, Family, Mindset, Speaking, UN women, Women's rights

PAVE 006: Surviver of an Acid Attack, Speaker for UN women, founder of Mahendra Singh Foundation with Monica Singh

Monica Singh

Monica Singh was just 19 years old when a rejected admirer threw acid over her body. It took dozens of corrective surgeries and the life savings of Monica’s late father but Monica battled back to hit her goal: to study at Parson’s and become a fashion designer.

Not only that; but she is also involved with UN women and the founder of the Mahendra Singh Foundation – named after her late father which helps victims of physical and sexual abuse, acid attacks, rape and domestic violence in  rebuilding their confidence and strength on their journey to becoming survivors.  The foundation spreads awareness and mobilize community resources in providing counseling, training,medical-care, and career guidance to survivors in rebuilding their lives.

For listeners without an Apple product with the “podcast” app, please visit: https://soundcloud.com/user-476654029/episode-007-monica-singh-surviver-of-acid-attack-speaker-for-un-women-founder-of-msfoundation to listen to the episode.

For listeners with Apple product: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against/id1203285774?l=en is the way to go.

Topics discussed and organisations/events mentioned in this episode:

“So the question is coming; how do you want to pursue your life after that?

Because that is what life is about. Otherwise you could sit and lay on a bed and think about what has happened and why it happened, and you keep reevaluating your life. But you have this opportunity, and how long can revaluation go?”

  • 4:08 Monica’s story; how Monica moved on after the acid attack, going from survivor to thriver
  • 8:00 choosing brain over face
  • 9:40 Becoming a global youth champion and her new hope of becoming a good will ambassador.
  • 13:00 Face of resilience, UN Women
  • 16:00 New projects and the Mahendra Sing Foundation
  • 23:00 Stop selling Acid in the open market
  • 24:00 Repercussions for attackers, justice for survivors
  • 28:00 foolish men around the world, princesses and having a blessed life ?
  • 30:00 Learning to move on after trauma, channelizing your experiences
  • 36:00 Monica’s love for movies

More about Monica Singh

Mahendra Singh Foundation twitter: https://twitter.com/MSF_joininghand
Mahendra Singh Foundation website http://mahendrasinghfoundation.org/

More about PAVE

Twitter.com/pave_podcast

Sponsors

If you want to be a guest on the PAVE podcast, a volunteer working for PAVE, if you are interested in becoming a PAVE sponsor, or want to collaborate with us in an other way, email me to see how we can work together to end the violence against women and children.

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

Activism, Mindset, PAVE Podcast, UN women

PAVE 005: Empowering women, UNwomen, Ananke magazine with Sabin Muzaffar

sabin muzaffar

Sabin Muzaffar is the Executive Editor & Founder of Ananke (www.anankemag.com), a digital platform empowering women through advocacy, awareness and education. Sabin has two decades of experience in traditional and new media – starting her professional journey in Karachi, Pakistan. She has worked for and contributed to numerous local & international publications including daily The News International, SPIDER, SHE, Dawn, Gulf News, Khaleej Times, ITP publication, BBVA OPENMIND, International Women’s Initiative and many more.

A collaborator and speaker at many events, Sabin was selected as UN Women’s Empower Global Champion for Women’s Economic Empowerment 2915-2016 and is currently an Empower Women Mentor and partner; in addition to being a Vision Mentor at World Pulse.

In 2014, acknowledging the gaping void in the digital realm in terms of documenting women’s achievements and highlighting HERstories, Sabin founded Ananke magazine. The platform not only covers in-depth articles on topics like women’s health, education, STEM, Law, climate change with a gender perspective; it showcases women as role models for young aspiring women. In 2016, Ananke launched its digital internship program for girls that enables anyone to apply from anywhere in the world. Over 30 girls from countries including Pakistan, Australia, the UAE, US, Kenya, Ghana, Nigeria and Turkey have been mentored over the past 11 months.

Sabin‘s vision is provide a platform for dialogue on Women’s Economic Empowerment and how women can empower other women through collaboration.

For listeners without an Apple product with the “podcast” app, please visit: https://soundcloud.com/user-476654029/episode-005-sabin-muzaffar-unwomen-gender-equality-ananke-magazine-empowering-women to listen to the episode.

For listeners with an Apple product: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against/id1203285774?l=en is the way to go.

Topics discussed and organisations/events mentioned in this episode:

  • Ananke magazine – an interactive platform, that empowers women through education and awareness
  • Empower women – a UN entity
  • World Pulse
  • Women’s economic empowerment
  • How Ananke is perceived by the male population in Dubai and UAE’s vision about gender equality, inclusion and diversity.
  • Patriarchal societies.
  • The importance of collaboration

More about Sabin Muzaffar

Sabin’s twitter: https://twitter.com/critoe
Ananke’s twitter: https://twitter.com/anankemag

More about PAVE

Twitter.com/pave_podcast

Sponsors

If you want to be a guest on the PAVE podcast, a volunteer working for PAVE, if you are interested in becoming a PAVE sponsor, or want to collaborate with us in an other way, email me to see how we can work together to end the violence against women and children.

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.co

Activism, Feminism, Gender Equality, Patriarchy, PAVE Podcast, UN women, Women's rights

PAVE 004: UNwomen, CSW and International Womens Day with Ravi Karkara

Regarding Ravi Karkara’s investigation:

Update 09/08/2018

A while ago I was warned by Mandy Sanghera (my mentor and first guest on the PAVE podcast) that Ravi Karkara was under investigation for sexual misconduct.

Ravi was also one of the first guests of the PAVE podcast and senior advisor for UN women. Although I knew about this dreadful news for a while I am still shocked and at first didn’t know what to do about this particular episode with Ravi. Should I delete it, should I take it down, I really had no idea. And to be honest I am still not quite sure what to do with it right now.  

Until I am sure about what to do I decided to keep this episode. Not only because the investigation is still going on but also because it shows that (sexual) abuse, manipulation and misuse of power can happen everywhere. That what someone is pretending to be can very differ from the reality. It can happen in every organisation, in every position, regardless of gender and even an institution like the UN is not immune to it.

What is important now is what the UN will do with their investigation and the other accusations in former and present complaints and very importantly: how the UN will reform it’s culture. 

My wish is that the UN will take a stand and will serve as a rolemodel for institutions like courts, police stations and so on. Because victims have been silenced for to long.

#silencedtoolong. #metoo

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2018/aug/08/senior-un-gender-and-youth-adviser-accused-sexual-misconduct-ravi-karkara-investigation-eight-men-un-women

Ravi Karkara is a Senior Advisor on Strategic Partnerships and Advocacy to the Assistant Secretary General to the UN and Deputy Executive Director at UN Women. With over two decades of experience, Ravi is an expert in various international development-related fields, driving innovation, building strategic partnerships, and promoting advocacy and programming in the areas of human rights, gender equality, accountability and social justice. He is also the Acting Head of Private Sector for UN Women.
  Ravi has been instrumental in supporting UN Women’s work on strategy development – this includes Strategy on Youth and Gender Equality, Working with Boys and Men in Gender Equality.
He has been awarded the Global Officials Award for his work on youth and gender equality and the Inter-Faith Award on promoting peace and harmony. He was also appointed as Junior Chamber International Ambassador.  Previously, he has also worked with the UN Millennium Campaign, UN-HABITAT, UNICEF and Save the Children and has written more than 80 publications/articles in his career spanning over two decades.

Topics discussed and organisations/events mentioned in this episode:

  • CSW – Commission status of women
  • International Women’s day
  • Life Cycle perspective to empower young women
  • Balancing private life
  • Working in gender equality is to transform both femininity and masculinity
  • Being a male feminist
  • Transforming patriarchy

More about Ravi Karkara

More about PAVE

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email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

Activism, Feminism, Gender Equality, Interview, Patriarchy, PAVE Podcast, UN women, Women's rights